The Most Important Election (a poem)

The Most Important Election

Every U.S. presidential election
we always hear:
"This is the most important election
ever!"
We heard it last time, in 2012,
2008, 2004,
2000, and back,
and they're saying it again this year.

Do you realize what that means?
Presidential elections
are becoming more
and more
and more important.

And it's true.
Science has proved it.
For decades, scientists
have been measuring and recording
presidential election importance
which they found
has been rising
every four years
in an ever-more-rapidly
ascending curve.

Here is what they have discovered:

The 1980 presidential election
was more important
than Kennedy's assassination.

The 1984 presidential election
was more important
than the moon landings.

The 1988 presidential election
was more important
than the eradication of polio.

The 1992 presidential election
was more important
than World War I
and the 1996 election more important
than World War II.

The 2000 presidential election
was more important
than the American Revolution
and the 2004 election more important
than the industrial revolution.

The 2008 election was more important
than the agricultural revolution.

The 2012 election was more important
than the extinction of the dinosaurs.

The 2016 election was more important
than the emergence of human life.

This year's election is more important
than the formation of the earth.

If nothing is done
scientists warn
the 2024 presidential election
will be more important
than the beginning of the universe.

- George J. Dance, 2020